Playing to help. Using a game simulation as a tool to observe how mothers of chronic ill children tend to over-help them and how they evaluate their helping behaviours

The article discusses the idea of using a simulation game, as a methodological tool particularly apt to observe the over-helping phenomenon in mother-child helping relations, in the case of chronic illness of the child. First of all, the article discusses theories about the phenomenon of over-helping, defined as an excess of help, compared with the need of the receiver, and describes its psychological and social costs in the case of chronic illness. Second, main reasons for choosing a methodology based on a simulation game are discussed. Finally, an empirical research based on this technique is presented. Results show that mothers of children affected by a chronic disease tend to over-help (i.e. to give an executive help) more than mother of healthy children do. Furthermore, mothers of children affected by a chronic disease significantly differ from mothers of healthy children, when evaluating their own emotions. Particularly, they estimate they felt more relieved after helping their child, than mothers of healthy children do. When mothers of chronically ill children helped their child in an instrumental way, negative emotions (discomfort, anxiety and embarrassment) seem to be correlated to their more functional help giving behaviour. In summary, data seem to suggest, in line with the model, that mothers of chronically ill children tend to over-help their children mostly in order to alleviate their own anxiety, due to the illness condition of their children. In spite of this, when mothers of children affected by a chronic disease give their children adequate help, they feel more concerned than mothers of healthy children do. This could be linked to the fact that they fear that their children, not being over-helped, could perform poorly, damaging their social image.